


A Tale of Almosts

by Bakerboyincamelot



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst, Blow Jobs, Car Accidents, F/M, Forehead Kisses, Gwen and Arthur's relationship is only mentioned in past tense, Hospitalization, Hotel Sex, Literally magical sex, M/M, Memories, Near Death Experiences, Politics, Slow Burn, Smut, sexual frustration is frustrating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-02-28 10:02:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13269120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bakerboyincamelot/pseuds/Bakerboyincamelot
Summary: Arthur's last moments bring him much needed perspective that help him in the next life.





	1. Death Perspective

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time publishing. I hope it's not too terrible. Leave me comments, please critique me. I plan on making this at least a few chapters. This is really just the prologue.

Some people say that life is full of moments, well in Arthur's experience it might be more accurate to say that life is full of almosts. The times that could have been moments, if only he had had the courage to make them so, but never were. Dying had an infuriating way of bringing those almosts to the forefront of his mind. Merlin was holding him and sobbing, which somehow made his brilliant blue eyes even brighter. Arthur remembered the first day he ever saw those eyes, smiling weakly at the memory, wondering what would have been if he hadn't been such a giant prat. 

He imagines how his life would have been if, just once, he had said what he was thinking and not what was expected of him. He thinks of this amazing man, this sorcerer, who saved his life so many times. The same man who had been by his side through everything, taking all the punches, never complaining. His servant, was a sorcerer, the man who he trusted more than anyone else had lied to him for years. Arthur reminds himself that Merlin had to lie in order to protect not only his own life but Arthur’s as well. He hid who he really was, pretended that he was a powerless coward, so that he could serve Arthur. What’s the thanks that he gets for it?

“I’m so sorry, Merlin. I’m sorry for everything. You are the bravest man I have ever known. Never change.” Arthur whispers.

“Shh. It’s okay. You can make sure that I don’t. I won’t let you die.” Merlin responds with the most pathetic smile Arthur has ever seen.

Arthur laughs. “No, of course not. You are far too stubborn for that”

“Arthur, you are the once and future king. You united Albion. You are not going to die, not on my watch.”

“The once and future king, eh?” He said, gasping for air. “Well next time I’ll do better.” Arthur closed his eyes for the very last time.

“Arthur? Arthur! NO!” Merlin found the dragons voice in himself once again, commanding Kilgarrah to come, to save Arthur.

                Merlin waited, sobbing harder and harder by the moment, knowing that every passing moment meant the likelihood of Arthurs return was declining. Kilgarrah arrived moments later to see that the once and future king was gone, and his friend was close behind him. Merlin was holding Arthur, shaking with grief, he hadn’t even realized that the Great Dragon had arrived.

“Hello, young warlock.”

Merlin jumped to his feet. “Kilgarrah, you have to save him!”

“I couldn’t if I tried.”

“I can’t lose him! He’s my friend!” Shouted Merlin

He sunk to his knees, muttering “I can’t lose him, I can’t”

“Merlin…this is not goodbye.”

“So you can save him?” he asked, looking up with hope in his eyes.

“No…You forget Merlin, Arthur is the once and future king. He will rise again, when the lands of Albion are in greatest need he will return.”

Merlin was crushed. “How long, how long until he returns?”

“I do not know”

“But he will return?”

“Undoubtedly.”

“Then I will wait for him.”


	2. Oh, how the tables have turned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's modern day. Merlin runs a successful nonprofit business. Arthur is his new intern.

Arthur has always had the sense that he was meant for something great. He felt for his whole life that he was meant to change the world for the better. To unite humanity once and for all. That is why he was so anxious to start his first day as an intern at ALBION. He had worked the whole year to improve his resume so that he would be accepted.

Two weeks ago, Arthur had been doing his usual volunteering at the local refugee center when he got the call. He recognized the number, it was on the TV often enough. The famous Merlin Emrys, the wizard of nonprofit, was calling him. _Here goes nothing_ thought Arthur as he answered.

“Hello, Arthur Pendragon speaking.”

“Hello Arthur, this is Morgana La Fay of ALBION. I’m calling to tell you we have received your application. I have to say your resume is rather astonishing. Mr. Emrys would like to personally mentor you as a volunteer coordinator. You would work directly with Mr. Emrys as well as the public. The internship would be unpaid but living quarters will be provided. So what do you say?” Finished Ms. La Fay.

Arthur had top admit, he was disappointed that the man hadn’t called himself to offer the position. However, Arthur recognized that saving the world must keep him very busy. They would be meeting soon enough anyhow, as Mr. Emrys would be his boss and personal mentor.

“ I accept! When do I start and where are my quarters?”

“Excellent. An email will be sent to you with further instructions. Good day Mr. Pendragon.” She hung up without waiting for a reply.

_Well this is it_ thought Arthur as he walked out his door that day, on the way to his dream job. It was a beautiful summer day in Southern Oregon. The sun was shining brightly, partially behind some fluffy clouds, the breeze was blowing, just enough to let you know it was there. It was going to be a great day for Arthur, he could feel it.

The email said that Arthurs quarters would be assigned to him once he got there, so he had only packed his laptop and a change of clothes. He lived very near the headquarters, so he figured he could comeback and get his things when it suited him. He had decided to walk to headquarters for his first day as to avoid parking issues. He didn’t want to be late and give the impression that he was irresponsible. Arthur arrived five minutes early, the building wasn’t as big as he expected of such a successful organization, but it was in good condition unlike many others in the area.

When he walked in the door it felt like home, not an office. There were nice couches set up in an L shape in the corner, blankets draped over the back, as well as many mismatched cushions. Adjacent to the couches was a large brick fireplace, which wasn’t lit, of course, because it was summer. Arthur imagined that it was a welcome addition to the façade in the cold, snowy winters though. Arthur walked to the side of the stairs where a tank sat, containing what seemed to be a lizard. The lizard was glaring at Arthur, Arthur read the small square informing him that the lizard, was in fact a dragon, a central bearded dragon that had been rescued by an animal hoarder.

“So what’s your name O mighty dragon, king of lizards?” Arthur said at the hateful little dragon mockingly.

“His name is Kilgarrah, after a very old friend of mine. Don’t be fooled, he’s not as mighty as he looks. He does everything I tell him to.” Mr. Emrys said smiling.

He was even more striking in person, it honestly looked like his cheekbones were carved out of marble. Merlin extended his hand toward Arthur.

“You must be Arthur, welcome to ALBION. I’m Merlin, shall we get started?”

Arthur shook his hand “Yes sir, after you.”

Merlin laughs a little, shaking his head “Sir? Oh, how the tables have turned” he whispered.

Merlin led Arthur upstairs to his office to start the paperwork and give Arthur keys. Arthur was very surprised to see that the office was a complete and utter disaster. Merlin must have seen the shock on his face because he said, “Sorry it’s such a sty in here but I’ve got a kingdom to run and no servants to call names until it’s clean.” A joke _._ The state of his office, it was a miracle anything got done, and he was joking.

“Surely you have an assistant, or even a friend. Though if you call them names while they are helping you, the state of your office is hardly a surprise.” Merlin grinned.

“I like you.” He said matter-of-factly. “Now here is the key to your bedroom. It’s down the hall and to the left, across from mine. You have half an hour to unpack and get settled in. Meet me back here when you’ve finished. We have work to do.” His grin got even bigger somehow.

Arthur anxiously walked away. Merlin definitely had something devious in mind. He unlocked the door to his room, it was nicer than he was expecting. He had a four-poster bed, two dressers, and a small desk. Arthur unpacked his small bag of belongings and then proceeded to flop onto the bed. The sheets were magnificent.

Arthur tried to imagine what Merlin might have up his sleeve. He decided that the next 20 minutes would be used to research the recent developments in ALBION. He sat down at his desk and opened his laptop. When he attempted to connect to the internet he discovered that every network in the joint was secured, one was even aptly named GETYOUROWN-DOLLOPHEAD, which Arthur found simultaneously amusing and aggravating. He figured since he was done unpacking, and couldn’t do anything useful he would continue onto Merlin’s office.

He walked out, locking his door behind him, heading towards Merlin’s office again. Merlin looked up from his desk when Arthur entered.

“Well that was quick. I’m glad you’re done though. As you know, the first step to changing the world is a clean office. So, you can start by taking out the trash, organizing my files, and cleaning out Aithusa’s tank.”

“Beg your pardon,” Arthur said through gritted teeth, “ but I thought when I accepted this this position I would be organizing people, not papers. That’s secretary work.”

Merlin blinked at Arthur, lowering his voice “Is secretary work below you Arthur? Do you think you are better than everybody else? I thought you stood for equality.”

“…No, I don’t think it’s below me, bu-“

“Great then get to it”

Arthur sighed. “Fine, but only because this pig sty would haunt my nightmares for as long as it remains. Honestly, how do you live like this?”

Merlin leaned in close and whispered “Magic.” Then scampered off to a pile of papers to get started.

Several hours and many insults later the office was clean, the files were organized, and the men were exhausted.

“Arthur do you know why I stayed?”

“Because you wanted to harass me, and you couldn’t do that from downstairs?”

“Because a good leader shows his people that even if it isn’t always apparent, he would never ask them to do anything he wouldn’t do himself. Now go get some rest. You did good work today. Tomorrow you get to meet the rest of the crew. I’ll see you bright and early.

“Yes sire” Arthur answered seriously, “before we go our separate ways though, could I get Wi-Fi access?”

“Get your own dollophead, and the password is Albion.”

“Wow, so professional. Goodnight, Mr. Emrys.”

“Goodnight, Arthur”

They entered their respective bedrooms, Arthur ready for some much needed alone time with his laptop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this makes up for how short the prologue was. Let me know what you think. Thanks for the kudos ya'll. Enjoy!


	3. Big Ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang has a meeting. Arthur comes up with a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly...political. Sorry, not sorry. Hope you enjoy! Leave me notes, please?

The next morning came much too quickly for Arthurs liking. He was having the most incredible dreams: He was king, he had a beautiful wife, his kingdom was one of peace and plenty. Although he was full of greif at waking, his dream had inspired him. It reminded him why he had to wake in the first place: to bring about peace and unity.

He rolled out of bed, washed his face, and dressed himself. He had packed his best shirt and tie yesterday in anticipation of his first impression with the rest of the team. He decided to head down to the kitchen for breakfast. After all, big ideas rarely happen on an empty stomach.

When he arrived in the kitchen it was to find a half-naked Merlin with some very impressive bedhead brewing a pot of coffee. He stood there for a moment, not sure of how to approach the situation, when Merlin noticed him hovering in the doorway.

“Good morning sleepyhead. I you were gonna sleep the whole day away.”

“Well at least I’m dressed. That makes one of us.” Arthur snarked back.

“Yes. Well, we can’t all wake up raring to go. Some of us couldn’t sleep as soundly because of what sounded like a dying boar. Did you know you snore?”

Arthur turned red. “I absolutely do not snore.”

Merlin winked. “As you wish.” 

The coffee pot beeped at that moment, indicating that it was ready for consumption.

“Budge up there. I am not caffeinated enough to argue with you yet.”

Merlin stepped aside heading toward the fridge. “You want some eggs, grumpy?”

Arthur opened his mouth, ready to tell Merlin about his lack of grumpiness with literally any other human being. He thought better of it after a moment though and simply replied “Yes please.”

“Ahh, so he does have manners.”

Arthur gritted his teeth in an effort to keep his mouth shut. Merlin was exceptionally talented at pushing Arthurs buttons. Arthur had a steaming cup of coffee in his hands now, so everything seemed a little more bearable. As Arthur sat at the table watching Merlin cook their eggs, he was surprised to see that Merlin actually knew what he was doing. He even added milk to make the eggs fluffy, just the way Arthur liked them. When Merlin was finished cooking the eggs he piled them high on two plates and brought them to the table.

“In a little bit, after breakfast, the rest of the team will be here. Since this is your first round table I want you to JUST listen, observe, and take notes. If you have questions or concerns, write them down and I will address them afterward.”

“ I have one question: If round tables are about giving everyone an equal voice, why can I not use mine?”

“An excellent question! That would be because you haven’t earned your place at the table yet.”

“I thought I did that when you offered me this internship.” He said rather more angrilythan he intended, shoveling the eggs into his mouth.

“Not quite, but you will have the chance after this meeting. It won’t be long until you’re allowed to play with the big boys.” Merlin gave Arthur a cheeky grin. “Now finish eating your breakfast so we can prep for the others.”

Arthur was not happy about this outcome, but he decided he was going to earn his place at the table as quick as he could. He knew better than anyone how much he had to offer. He was going to be the best of the best, with the most innovative ideas and effective plans.

They finished their breakfast in silence and when they were both sufficiently stuffed Merlin headed to the shower and Arthur headed to the office to prepare for note taking. Upon entering the office Arthur noticed the subject of their meeting written on the whiteboard adjacent to Merlin’s desk: HB120 – The religious freedom in healthcare act. Below the title were a list of names belonging, Arthur guessed, to the sponsors of the bill. Below that were several bullet points: What is the bill, what does this bill mean for marginalized groups, Who supports and why, What is the opposition saying, What can be done to improve the bill, and what can we plan for?

Arthur had some questions of his own that he would like to add to the mix. Such as: how much would this bill end up costing in emergency services, Would religious doctrine be required in order to claim religious freedom, how far had the bill progressed in the house and was there a similar bill being introduced in the senate. He decided these questions would be a good start to his notes. Hopefully they would be addressed throughout the meeting, since he wasn’t allowed to participate in any meaningful way.

“That prick” muttered Arthur to himself.

“Who are you talking about?” Asked a very handsome stranger he hadn’t noticed enter the room.

“Oh…um…nobody of importance.” Arthur extended his hand to the stranger, “Hi, I’m Arthur. I’m the new intern.”

“Nice to meet you, Arthur” The stranger replied shaking his hand. “My name is Lancelot, I am the legal/moral advisor.”

Merlin walked in at that point, fully dressed now.

“Hello, Lancelot. Right on time as usual. I see you’ve met Arthur. He is going to be observing and recording today.”

“Only observing?” Lancelot replied, confused. “Isn’t the point of a round table giving everyone an equal voice?”

“That’s what I said! Thank you, Lancelot” Arthur practically shouted.  

“Right you are, but he still need to earn his place first.” Merlin replied calmly.

Lancelot shrugged. “Well you’re the boss.”

“Shall we sit? The others will be here any minute now.” Merlin gestured towards the chairs he had set up that morning. “Arthur do you have something to take notes with?”

Arthur held up his notebook, feeling miserable about being demoted to the role of secretary, though he knew it was just as noble a career as the one he had chosen for himself.

“Good.”

Arthur sat across from Merlin and as he sank into his chair the remaining members of the team arrived.

“Welcome everybody. First order of business,” Merlin gestured towards Arthur “Say hello to the newest member of our team. This is Arthur, our volunteer coordinator intern.”

“Good Morning Arthur” said a very severe looking woman to the right of Merlin.

To her right Aviators and Manbun said “’Sup” raising his Starbucks to Arthur.

“Hello Arthur.” Squeaked a very pretty, somehow familiar woman on Arthurs right.

Arthur waved. “Hello everyone.”

“To my right here is Morgana, I believe you spoke on the phone. Next to her is Gwaine. To your right is Gwen, and you have already met Lancelot.” Merlin said pointing at each of them in turn. “Now that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business.”

“To defeat the Huns?” Asked Gwaine innocently. Morgana scoffed. Merlin laughed.

“Worse actually. Our very own government. Once again, they are trying to isolate and mistreat underrepresented groups. Just like the good ol’ days. I’m sure you have all heard by now, the House has introduced a new bill; HB 120, also known as the religious freedom in healthcare act. I have a copy here if anyone would like to read it.” He stated, handing the paper off to Lancelot. “Basically it states that healthcare professionals can opt out of certain procedures, and more alarmingly can opt out of treating a patient at all, if they have religious objections. As you may have guessed that means no abortions, even necessary, lifesaving ones. It means doctors can refuse to treat LGBTQIA+ folks, refugees, and undocumented immigrants. On the board is a list of sponsors for the bill.”

“All right wing I see.” Gwen chimed in. “That means that it doesn’t have bipartisan support, and it likely doesn’t have the support of the people.”

“There is actually about a 50/50 split from the constituents. The opposition is saying the bill would increase ER visits, which are not only stressful, but also quite costly in the long run.” Answered Gwaine.

“Good, we can use that to our advantage. Money may be able to convince some people who are on the fence.” Morgana interjected.

“Now for the final question. What can be done to improve the bill? How can we protect everybody’s individual freedoms?” Asked Merlin.

“I need to study the language of the bill more thoroughly, however, I believe an addition of religious doctrine requirement would be fair.” Lancelot replied, perusing the bill all the while.

Arthur had to admit, he was impressed. This group had managed to address almost all of his concerns without him even having to use his voice. However, there was still the matter of progression and duplication to attend to.

“Lancelot and Gwen, would you two work together on drafting improvements to the bill? Gwaine will you please survey the ley people about this bill? Morgana, can you organize a group meeting with our reps? We will meet back here after lunch.” Everyone nodded and went their separate ways. Merlin headed toward Arthur

“Thoughts?”

“Well you have a good group here. I have a couple of concerns though. When was the bill introduced? How far has it progressed? Does it have a counter part in the Senate? Also is a Public Session going to be held?”

“Last week. It’s heading to it’s second committee. Not as far as I know, and of course not, they are far too sneaky for that.” Merlin responded counting off the answers on his fingers as he spoke.

“In that case, I would like to make a few suggestions. With permission I want to hold a community get together here at HQ. We could get hundreds of people to call their reps throughout the day. We would provide scripts and lemonade, cause who doesn’t love free lemonade? In addition, we request individual stories from people who would be most affected by this bill, or those who have been affected by similar one sin the past. When we go to the group meeting with our reps we deliver these stories. Last but not least, we demand a public session be held for this bill. Accountability and transparency are desirable qualities in a government, and ours has been lacking it for some time. The people should rule the government as much as it rules them.”

Merlin looked thoughtful “You have some good ideas. When we get back together after lunch I would like you to address the rest of the group. Welcome to the Round Table.” Merlin grinned clapping Arthur on the back. Arthur smiled back, feeling all warm inside with Merlin’s approval.


	4. Something Wicked this Way Comes Pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Albion has a successful event, Arthur is sexually frustrated, secrets are uncovered, and Arthur decided to be one whole Gryffindor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long for me to publish again. My computer broke, Hammertime is no longer with us. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please give me give me feedback if you liked it, or if you didn't.

It took several days and the cooperation of the whole group to organize the event, but it was finally happening. They had charging stations throughout, lemonade and popcorn stands, scripts for people with no experience talking to their representatives, and a story recording station to add a personal touch. Arthur was full of exhilaration at his first planned event, perhaps even a little bit nervous. He had trouble deciding what to wear that morning, should he dress up like a professional…or dress down to appeal to the people. He decided a little bit of both was his best option. Something for everyone.

He was pacing the living room, waiting for his team to arrive, it was nearly time for the event to begin. The other four walked in moments later, smiling and laughing about something he had missed. Arthur was glad to see that he wasn’t the only one who had decided on a semi casual look. That is everyone except Morgana, she was dressed in her usual intensely demanding style.

“Welcome everyone. Are you ready to rumble?”

The group sniggered but nodded their assent. Arthur groaned inwardly thinking about the million other ways he could have greeted them without sounding like some 80’s wrestling commentator. However, Merlin interrupted his thoughts, saying “Hey guys, do we all know our places for the night?” Again, everyone nodded their acknowledgement to the question then headed to their places.

“Alright then, lets get this party started” Arthur really couldn’t help himself, the clichés just kept coming out of his mouth. He moved to the front door, hoping that there would be someone there, and he wasn’t disappointed. Walking towards the door was a small group of college aged people with very colorful hair. As they walked in Arthur handed them scripts, explaining that they could be useful if they hadn’t any experience talking to their representatives. The youngest looking boy replied, “I heard there would be popcorn” Looking over Arthur’s shoulder to locate it. Arthur chuckled and pointed to the far corner were Lancelot was waiting to serve them, “Can’t have you working on an empty stomach after all”.

Next came a family, then some more college students, what looked like a grocery store union, and lastly a couple of elderly photographers. By the end of the event everyone was exhausted but very happy. It had been a complete success, if you exclude running out of popcorn halfway through. Even so, they had collected over 30 personal stories, and made hundreds of phone calls to multiple representatives throughout the state. It seemed that they may even be featured in a local blog or two.

Lancelot and Gwen were in deep conversation over by Kilgarrah’s tank. Morgana was tapping away on her cellphone, no doubt cementing plans for their next move. Gwaine was poring over his records from his story collection station, sorting them into a logical order for the meeting with their representatives. While Merlin was slouching back on the couch with his eyes shut, rubbing his temples.” Good job today everybody” Merlin said, sounding like he was already half asleep, “As soon as you are all finished with what you are doing you can go home. I’m sure you are all dreaming of your beds like I am right now. We can clean up tomorrow morning after the briefing. Sound good?” he finished, yawning.

As suspected, nobody had to be told twice to go home. Success might be more tiring than failure, there are certainly more expectations. Arthur slouched down on the couch next to Merlin and let out a long sigh, closing his eyes too.

“I’m glad that’s over.” said Arthur

“Me too!” replied Merlin, “I can’t believe how much popcorn we went through. Those college kids nearly ate me out of house and home.”

Arthur snorted.

“Yeah you’re right. They would have a hard time beating you”

Arthur punched him in the arm “Oi! I’m fighting fit. Thank you very much.”

Merlin eyed him up and down, making Arthur somewhat flushed, assessing him. Finally, he said “Nah, I think I could take you.”

Arthur laughed rather heartily at that.

“Yeah to a movie maybe.” Arthur regretted those words as soon as they had left his mouth. Merlin was his boss, you weren’t supposed to flirt with those. Though it seemed to Arthur that Merlin didn’t mind it, or else hadn’t noticed it. Merlin had a soft smile on his face and replied, “You have no idea”. This all seemed eerily familiar to Arthur, like he had known Merlin for a lifetime, instead of a week. Their banter was just so…comfortable.

“Well we may have to put that to the test one of these days, in the meantime I’m going to bed”, Arthur said rising from the couch, “I’m going to have sweet dreams of that day”. Merlin looked Arthur in the eye and, grinning wickedly, asked “You dream about me, Arthur?”. Arthurs face flushed, not knowing what to say to that, he backed out of the room in silence. All the while Merlin was holding his gaze with that stupid smile on his face.

When he was safely in his room away from Merlin’s penetrating eyes he plopped on the bed and gave the conversation some thought. He had dreamt of Merlin before, he dreamt of meeting him for a long time before he came to be his intern. He remembered vague feelings of familiarity when he first saw him on TV. He hadn’t dreamt of him in _that_ way though, he firmly believed that any sort of relationship would be important, Merlin was his boss after all. Although, one day they would be equals, one day he wouldn’t be Merlin’s intern anymore.

That thought brought on conflicting feelings for Arthur, that he couldn’t quite understand. On one hand he would have a bit more power and prestige to put toward making the world a better place. On the other hand, he would no longer have any ties to Merlin. He would no longer have the benefit of his mentorship, his friendship, his presence. Arthur knew that it shouldn’t matter, that going in he knew it was only temporary. He couldn’t help it though, he wanted to keep this sarcastic ass in his life for as long as he could. He felt that it was his destiny, that they could change the world together.

If Arthur was being perfectly honest with himself, not one of his strongest attributes, he didn’t just want Merlin in his life so they could change the world together. He wanted Merlin in his life to make him happy, to be his knight in shining armor, ever faithful. He knew from the moment he first saw those eyes that they were meant to be. How did he know though, how could he know something like that.

 Arthur, more frustrated than ever, tore off his clothes, grabbed his laptop, and climbed into bed. He opened up his browser and pulled up “Merlin Emrys look alike porn”. He felt somewhat guilty, like it was a violation, but he was hard, and his body was screaming at him to go ahead. He did. He stroked in time to the thrusts, pretending it was real, that he was with Merlin. He found that his imagination was powerful on that front. In his head he was imagining Merlin kissing him, softly along his jaw, down his neck, along his collarbone, and he could really feel it, like it was the real thing. It was absolute bliss, and in no time, Arthur was coming, struggling to keep quiet. He cleaned himself, put his laptop away and drifted off to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Dreaming sweetly, if a little incoherently of Merlin. In his dreams Arthur was King again, and Merlin his loyal servant, they were on some sort of adventure, it was cold, so they slept right next to each other, not cuddling, but a near thing. Their shared warmth was nice, like a hot cup of tea, or coming home to your favorite meal after a long ride.

Waking up the next morning was torture, he was pulled out of his reveries by the sharp beeping of his alarm clock. He thought that he had changed that to a less abrupt tone, but apparently not. That seemed to set the mood for the entire day. He got out of bed slowly, groaning all the while, almost crawling into his clothes. He was not looking forward to cleaning up the previous nights event, so he went for coffee first. Stepping into the kitchen he found a pot of coffee already brewed with a note. It said “Morning dollophead. Thought you could use this. Sounded like you didn’t sleep much ”. Arthur froze, he thought he had been so careful. Arthur could only hope that he didn’t know what he was watching. He told himself firmly “everyone does it, there is nothing to be ashamed of” and then went about making his coffee, trying to act as normal as possible. He crumpled the note and threw it in the trash on his way into the living room.

Merlin was there already, full of energy somehow, and already half way done with the cleaning. Arthur just watched for a minute, wondering how long it would take him to notice another person had entered. “Morning” Arthur said groggily “I thought you said we would clean _after_ the morning briefing” Merlin looked up from what he was doing. “Well I figured since I was up I might as well do something productive” Merlin smiled knowingly “How’d you sleep?”

Arthur shuffled uncomfortably, “Erm…well. And you?” It wasn’t a lie.

“I didn’t really sleep much” he winked.

Arthur cleared his throat “So…What can I help with? When will the others be here?”

“You wanna gather up all the scripts and file them up in my office, and then take these lemonade containers to the kitchen for a wash. The others should be here right about the time we finish that. I think they’ll be pleased when they see we’ve finished without them.”

“Oh yeah, I think so too. I guess I’ll get started on that.”

Merlin was right. Morgana showed up about 30 seconds after they had finished, Gwaine a minute later, and Lancelot and Gwen about 30 seconds after that. Everyone went straight up to the office to start the briefing, very pleased that they wouldn’t have to clean afterward, they could get straight to work. They sat in their usual seats, and Merlin started off the meeting with congratulations on a job well done. He then continued to ask about thought on what do next and any other developments. Morgana piped up first. “I have been in contact with one of the staffers, she said that the phones ringing off the hook were a real pain in the ass, but they were an effective measure. We caught the attention of several of the reps and all but one said they will stand with the people.”

“That’s great!” Merlin replied, “which one is it?”

“I bet I can guess.” Gwen said, downhearted “Is It Rep. Sarrum?”

Morgana looked shocked “Yes in fact it is. How did you know?”

This time Lancelot answered “When we were researching the document for improvements, we came across a link. He is connected to a very powerful anti-LGBTQ group called Amata. They have given him billions of campaign dollars over his term in office. Unfortunately, not enough people know about this because he mostly keeps quiet. He does his dirty work under the radar, he’s found all the legal loopholes he can work through. He has no honor.”

“Well that’s not shocking” Merlin said under his breath to himself. Then more loudly addressing the group “Okay, so what are we going to do about it?”

“Well I think the first thing to be done is to get the press on this. I know plenty of voters who would not approve of his hate group connection, and they will make it known to him”, offered Gwaine.

“A bold plan to be sure, but this man is ruthless, it would be foolish to take him head on with so little evidence. I know it seems damning to us, but he is a snake, he can wriggle his way out of anything.”

“So, we go about our business as usual. We keep gathering evidence against him, I can get in contact with my late father’s old friends. He was a politician in that kind of circle as well. I’ll pretend that I’m with them and all the while I’ll be working against them.” Arthur sounded a lot more confident than he felt.

“No. No, absolutely not. That is far too dangerous.”

“Well do you have any other plan? At least this way it’s just me in danger, not the whole organization and everything we stand for.”

Merlin was staring at him, looking very blue, his eyes glistening. He didn’t say anything.

“You know, he has a point. This would be the best way to gather intel to expose him. He has been in a position of authority for far too long. I would do it myself…but I have no connections.” Lancelot pointed out.

Morgana, eyes filled with fire, added “Arthur can take this bastard down once and for all. Let him do it.”

“Fine” Merlin said in a small voice, barely audible.

The rest of the briefing went by very quickly Morgana and Gwaine were to take the personal stories to their representatives, Lancelot and Gwen had finished their revisions and were to put them in front of a committee of citizens for any more remarks. The four of them were gone moments later, leaving only Merlin and Arthur in the office. Merlin was sitting quietly, with his head turned down, looking like a dog left out in the rain. Arthur wanted nothing more than to see him smile again.

He moved towards Merlin’s chair and sat down next to him. He was never very good at comforting people, he slapped Merlin on the back saying, “Cheer up, it’s not like anyone is dying”.

“How is hitting me meant to cheer me up?” Merlin asked grumpily.

“I don’t know” Arthur reminded himself to be bold “Would beer do the trick better? Let’s go to the bar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just realized the first time I posted this it only did half of the chapter...So hopefully it makes a little more sense with the ending.


	5. A Run Down Memory Lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur is saved from his own stupidity do to a near death experience. Brings back memories, for good this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy I should really publish more often. I have a quote on my wall saying that motivation doesn't come to the lazy. It is true. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Please leave me comments if you feel like it. I would love some critique.

“I know you think I spend my days in the pub, but you’re wrong.” He replied.

Merlin turned his head to look at Arthur; his eyes not quite tear-filled, but sad and glistening. They were somehow even more beautiful. Arthur never wanted to see Merlin sad, it broke his heart to see a face so sad that was usually so full of unadulterated joy.

“What can I do to make you smile again?” Arthur asked softly bumping shoulders with Merlin.

“Don’t go. That would make me smile again.” Merlin reached for Arthurs hand but pulled back at the last second, apparently deciding that the gesture wasn’t entirely appropriate. Arthur noticed and made the move himself. With Merlin’s hand in his Arthur answered “I don’t have a choice. If I don’t do this imagine the millions of people this will effect. I can’t just turn my back on them.”

“I know” Merlin pulled his hand away. “You always were the hero, weren’t you?”

Arthur felt the absence of Merlin’s hand as if it were the absence of the sun.

“You talk like we’ve known each other for lifetimes…Sometimes I feel that we have.”

In a whisper, barely even audibly Arthur heard Merlin say, “Oh Arthur, if only you knew!” He was looking Arthur in the eye, holding his gaze, his expression was telling Arthur to remember.

The problem was that Arthur had no idea what he was supposed to be remembering. Surely, they can’t have met before, Arthur would have cherished the memory of meeting his hero.   Merlin, disappointed with Arthur’s lack of comprehension, left the room. Arthur was alone again.

He decided to leave the mystery that was Merlin for another day and focus on the task at hand. He started by emailing his dad’s old contacts, asking them out for drinks. What better way to bond with the older generation of crooked politicians than with alcohol in a sleazy bar, right. He had early memories of his own father coming home, positively pissed, after a night out of “forming alliances”.

After sending his emails it was time to do some research into their connections with Sarrum. If this plan was going to succeed he had to be in full control of the situation at all times. Arthur was rather unsurprised to see that all of his dad’s old contacts were connected to Sarrum, or at least used to be at some point in their careers. He was somewhat shocked to find that one of them was a cold case in somebody’s homicide department however.

Hours later, thoroughly exhausted as he was after all the research he had done, Arthur climbed in to bed and called it a night. Once again, he dreamed about a castle, about a round table full of knights, about chivalry, and about sacrifice. When he woke the dream disappeared. In it’s place was the dim light of early morning, the pitter patter of summer rain just starting to fall, and the ever-pleasant aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

He glanced at his bedside table were his alarm clock told him it was 5:30 am. He wondered why on Earth Merlin would be up so early on a Saturday. The team didn’t even have any meetings planned after all. An empty belly and a curious mind drew him, barefooted and heavy-eyed, toward the kitchen. He descended the stairs, yawning as he went. When he rounded the corner to the kitchen he heard voices and stopped in his tracks, wondering who Merlin could possibly be talking to this early.  After a moment he recognized the other voice as Lancelot’s. He couldn’t believe that two of his coworkers were even up this early, let alone talking business. Apparently, it was only Arthur who thought the weekends were sacred.

“He’ll be fine Merlin. There’s nothing to worry about. Sure, they are terrible people, but they operate within the law, so nothing truly awful could happen right?”

“Lance you don’t understand. The last time I let my guard down it ended in death.”

Arthur’s heart had started beating very hard and very fast. It was the only thing he could hear anymore, he was sure that they would discover him eavesdropping at any moment. Arthur backed away from the door, terrified to think whose death Merlin could be talking about. The kitchen had gone silent. He retraced his steps to the door, more loudly this time so they would know he was coming. Arthur opened the door with a big fake yawn. “’Lo Lancelot. What are you doing here so early?”

“I’m just here to drop some documents off that I thought might be helpful to your cause.”

“At 5:30 in the morning” Arthur raised his eyebrows. “on a Saturday?”

Lancelot smiled back at him “I just finished my morning run. The early bird gets the worm.” He winked at Arthur and left, waving goodbye to Merlin. Arthur finally looked at Merlin, noticing he had big bags under very bloodshot eyes. His skin was paler than usual, and his hair was sticking up at odd angles. Arthur wondered if he had slept at all last night. To distract himself, Arthur poured them both a cup of coffee and put cream and sugar into Merlin’s. He put the cups down on the table and beckoned Merlin over to partake.

“So…sleep well?” Arthur asked, already knowing the answer.

“Oh yeah, definitely. This is always how I look when I’m well-rested” He responded as he wrapped his hands around the warm cup, some of the color returning to his face.

“What’s going on?”

Merlin took a long pull from his mug before responding “Nightmares, that’s all”

“Oh? And here I thought you were the bravest of the brave” Arthur smirked, hoping to get some positive reaction from Merlin. He was disappointed.

“I just feel like history is repeating itself, ya know? Like it’s all happening again and there is nothing I can do to stop it, no matter what my destiny says. Free will trumps destiny every time. How am I supposed to be brave facing that?” He looked at Arthur, really looked at him, as if searching for the answers in his face.

Arthur was thinking about the conversation between Merlin and Lancelot that he had overheard. He had said someone died because of him, and now he was saying that history was repeating itself. His heart was beating fast again. He felt lightheaded, but he managed to respond “W-well, if there is really nothing to be done, why worry? After all, according to mister Scamander, it means you only suffer twice.

Merlin gave a loud laugh at the reference. “You may be right. However, worrying is in my nature, one of my defining characteristics really”. His mood seemed to be improving.

“So what were you and Lancelot talking about before I interrupted?”

“Oh nothing, nobody important, a man of no importance.”

“Riiiiight. So where are these papers that he supposedly dropped off for me? I’ll get started while I’m drinking my wake up juice”.

Merlin got up and retrieved them from their place on the counter beside the door. “I was thinking…perhaps you can do your double agent thing entirely online…what do you think?” Merlin asked casually as he retook his seat.

“Come now, Merlin. Don’t be stupid. I have to show them I am with them, just like them. They won’t share their dirty little secrets otherwise” He decided not to tell Merlin that one of them was murdered, feeling certain that Merlin would lock him in the basement, for his own safety of course.

Merlin groaned “You are impossible you know? I’m going back to bed.”

Arthur scoffed at that “I’m the impossible one? You sure about that, are you?”

“Yes, it’s you, it has always been you” He skulked off back to his bedroom. Leaving his half-finished coffee forgotten on the table.

Arthur shook his head and pulled out his cellphone. Surprisingly, all of his emails had been answered. The group were meeting later that night for drinks and they had invited Arthur along. Of course, the bar they had chosen had a sketchy history of being involved in a lot of hate crimes. It was his only way in though, they wouldn’t trust otherwise.

He replied that he would be there (despite the bar being hours away) and set to work on the papers that Lancelot had left for him. Much of which was redundant to his own research, they all shared a political party, they worked with his father on a specific bill, Sarrum left before it’s completion and collaborated on a similar bill. Lancelot had given him one lead though: He had a record, an expunged record, but a record none the less. Hopefully his father’s old friends would know more, and tell him about it with a bit of social lubrication.

He spent several hours pouring over the records, both his own and Lancelot’s trying to prepare himself and get into the mindset of the role he was to play. He was mentally exhausted and in desperate need of a shower, so he packed up the papers and headed upstairs. Arthur was surprised to see that Merlin was still asleep as he passed his room on the way to the bathroom. He really must have needed the rest, Arthur empathized.

Closing the bathroom door behind him, he set the shower to the hottest temperature and started to strip. He got in the shower and instantly felt the heat of the water melting the tension in his shoulders, and the steam pushing the anxiety from his chest. He felt like a new man, like he could take on whatever was necessary. It was ironic that the place he was so vulnerable made him feel so strong and confident. His head felt as clear as ever, he knew more than them, he had the advantage.

It felt like he had only been in the shower for a mere five minutes when he heard banging on the door.

“Oy! You gonna be in there all day? Other people live here too, ya know!”

“Yes! This is my home now. You’re welcome to visit if you like.” Arthur hollered back.

Silence.

He finished washing himself and put on a towel before heading back to his room. He pulled off the damp towel and plopped down on his bed for a well-earned nap. He set his alarm for 2 pm, for him to have time to get ready and leave then drifted off to sleep quite quickly. The dreams started same as usual, but something was different this time. This time Merlin was there, as his servant. He was more than that though, he was the constant companion. He was the comfort and peace on a long and difficult journey, the laughter when things seemed to terrible for joy. Mostly he was the savior of an arrogant, pigheaded, prince and the almost lover of a good hearted, but closeminded king. He was a sorcerer and liar and the bravest and most loyal man Arthur had ever known.

Then a dragon appeared in the sky and the dragon was beeping. Arthur had the distinct feeling that beeping was not the sound that dragons were supposed to make. Slowly his sense started to return to him and he realized that it was his alarm clock, not a dragon. He slapped the snooze button, and quickly opened his laptop and started a word document. He wanted to jot down his dream before he forgot it, but it had already started to slip away. By the time the document had loaded he had forgotten most everything, he wrote five simple words: King, Merlin, Sorcerer, Dragon, and Dead.

Arthur got dressed quickly and headed for the front door. He was supposed to be meeting his fathers friends an hour outside the capital at 7 o’clock. It was a 4 hour drive from where he was. Typical that he had to do 4 times the work that they had to do. He snuck out of the house so as not to get the sympathetic and disapproving looks from Merlin. He had a long drive ahead of him and didn’t need that kind of negativity in his life. To keep things positive and upbeat he put on some motivational speeches from throughout history. The playlist had continued for a couple of hours until he felt like he could take on the world. He was barely even paying attention to the roads anymore.

Then he heard a crash, he felt the air leave his lungs without his permission, he smelled cinnamon. He knew he was seriously injured, but the only thing his brain could pick up on was that smell. He felt strongly that this was not what death was supposed to smell like, it was far too pleasant. Then there was only darkness and silence. He felt as if he had been dropped into a void. There was no sensation any longer, not even pain.

Arthur got to his feet, intent on exploring this void, sure that there had to be something else out there. Indeed, he was proven right no more than a few feet in. It seemed that the farther he walked the brighter and clearer everything got. Soon enough he had entered a field, set by a lake. At the edge of the water were two men and what appeared to be a dragon.

He edged closer to the men, he could hear snippets of their conversation. Something about magic and never changing. Since no one seemed to have noticed him he crept even closer. He could tell it was an intimate moment but he couldn’t help himself, he was intrigued. When he looked up at the men’s faces he saw his own face in the face of the dying man. He saw Merlin in the tear-streaked face of the sorcerer. He blinked several times in disbelief, he pinched himself. They were still there, it was like his dreams, but this wasn’t a dream, it was too real to be a dream. He had died in Merlin’s arms.

Everything had started to lose its shape again, the colors changed, and it was all far away again. He walked towards the blur of color, his hands shaking and his heart racing, but his feet steady. When the scene came into focus he found himself on the top of a gorge, amidst a fierce battle. He saw himself again, taking down several of the enemy forces, almost completely surrounded. At the same an old man was killing the enemy by the hundreds, harnessing lightning to his will. He thought it must be Merlin, but how could one man be as powerful as all that. He looked back at his old self, just in time to see himself get stabbed.

Arthur felt a fire start in the pit of his stomach. He had been betrayed by someone that he cared for…again. He felt it, without really knowing why, it was all so familiar. Arthur took off running, he had to know if it was all real, if he really had been betrayed by the people closest to him, over and again. Several scenes flashed in and out as he ran through and past them. He saw himself trying to save Merlin and failing because of a Merlin made rockfall, He saw himself marrying Gwen, gwen cheating on him with a Lancelot puppet controlled by none other than Morgana. He saw himself crowned king of Camelot, the formation of the round table and the induction of his knights. He saw his father die despite old man Merlin’s best efforts.

He saw himself slowly devolve into an arrogant bully and he stopped. He was standing in the training yard at the castle, bully some poor young man. When a lanky boy named Merlin entered the scene. He was bravely standing up for a stranger against an arrogant bully prince that could barely be recognized as Arthur. Arthur wanted to smack some sense into his younger self, tell him that he was being a prideful little git and to treat his subject, and especially his servants with more respect. Most importantly he wanted to tell him, never to forget because remembering afterward is much more painful.

And boy did he remember. He remembered everything, and the feelings all flooded back to him like a dam had been broken in his mind. Disbelief, denial, and betrayal when it came to his family. Respect, chivalry, and loyalty in regard to his knights. Then there was Merlin, Merlin with his unwavering loyalty and support, his very snarky brand of friendship that reminded Arthur to be a better man and a better king. Merlin the most powerful man alive chose to be Arthurs servant because he believed in him and wanted to help bring about the future that they both wanted. He was magnificent, and Arthur regarded him with awe and reverence.

The scene started to fade, it was dark again. He could feel the pain start to return, the stinging in his left arm, the pressure on his lungs, and a dull but persistent ache in his head.

“Arthur?” He felt a hand on his, “Arthur, please wake up… Please wake up. I can’t lose you again. Not when I’ve only just gotten you back. I’ve waited so long.” Arthur heard soft sobs coming from Merlin. “It’s been so long Arthur. I’ve waited centuries for you. You can’t let a stupid car take you away.” His voice was getting steadily more angry. “Not a car! You’ve faced the dead, more than once, you’ve faced Wilderen, and a griffin. You’ve faced Dragons Arthur. Fucking Dragons!” finally he finished “If dragons can’t kill you, then a car most certainly can’t. I won’t allow it”. Merlin bent low over Arthur, hesitating for a moment before placing a whisper of a kiss on Arthurs forehead. The lips barely brushed Arthur’s skin but it was enough. He noticed that the ache in his head had disappeared, replaced by a fluttering stomach. He tried desperately to open his eyes, to speak, anything to let Merlin know it was going to be okay, that he remembered everything, that he remembered him…that he loved him and had done for a long time. He couldn’t muster the energy.

Arthur felt Merlin sit beside his bed, never letting go of his hand. “Sleep well Arthur and return to me when you’re done.” Merlin whispered. With the hand that Merlin was holding , Arthur signed OK, and proceeded swiftly to fall asleep.


	6. Healing Takes Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hospitals are a great place to start the healing process, both physically and emotionally. Discoveries are made and relationships evolve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Sorry I'm such a shmuck. I literally have no excuse for waiting a month to publish another chapter. It's been written for the last 2 weeks. But anyway, here it is, I hope you enjoy. Also comments would be great, even if they are mean ones.

It seemed to Arthur that a long time had passed before he regained his consciousness, hours or days, he couldn’t tell. He noticed that Merlin’s hand was no longer in his, which was a disappointment. He thought he knew the cause of the absence when he heard whispering nearby.

“How is he? Do you think he’ll wake soon?” Arthur heard a woman say.

“They say he’s lucky. The other car hit him very hard, apparently, he should be dead. Remarkably he only has several broken bones and a fuck-ton of bruises. His thick skull kept him from getting a concussion, so he should be waking up anytime now.” Merlin replied tiredly, it sounded like he hadn’t slept.

“Good because we need to talk, all of us, Merlin.” Arthur thought she sounded ominous, confirming the suspicion that confirming the suspicion that the other voice was Morgana.

“I know. We will, I promise. Just give him some time to heal first. He’s too weak right now.”

Arthur thought he should probably let them know he was conscious, if only barely, so he cleared his throat.

“Ahem…Who are you calling weak?” He half coughed/half spoke, “I’d like to see how you look after being pummeled by several tons at 90 miles per hour”. His laugh quickly turned into a racking cough. He doubled over, the pain in his chest was so intense his vision started to blur, slowly fading to black, he could feel the bile forming in his throat.

Merlin was at his side in an instant. “Arthur! Are you okay?” He put one hand on Arthur’s and rubbed his back with the other. The pain subsided, his breath returned, and he felt warmth spread throughout his body, radiating from Merlin’s palm on his back.

“Of course, it will take much more than one lousy driver to get rid of me,” Arthur smiled warmly up at Merlin, “After all, I’ve fought dragons, haven’t I?” He added in whisper. Merlin’s eyes went wide.

“You- You heard that, did you?” He said, running his hand through his already messy hair, avoiding Arthur’s eyes.

“Indeed…But I remember it too,” Arthur’s eyes shifted to Morgana, his expression hardening, “I remember everything.”

Morgana stepped forward then, taking the eye contact as an invitation, blissfully ignorant of the return of Arthurs memories. “Arthur, I’m so glad you’re okay. I thought you were a goner! Happily, though, you are made of tougher stuff than steel.” Her eyes were wide and glistening, she tried to smile, faltering when it went unreciprocated.

“You would know” Arthur answered with malice. He crossed his arms and turned back to Merlin.

“Arthur?” Morgana blinked at him, opening and closing her mouth. She looked like a fish out of water: helpless.

Arthur glared into the distance, intent on not forgiving her. This was the woman that had ruined his last life, and he would not make the same mistake of blindly trusting in this life. She was his family, and she had stopped at nothing to destroy him, everything that he stood for or loved. Merlin gaped at him, as if he didn’t know that the witch hadn’t cost him everything, as if she didn’t deserve exactly what she was getting.

“He must have hit his head harder than we thought.” Merlin said, turning to Morgana, “Would you please give us moment?”

As she turned to leave Arthur saw a single tear make its way down her cheek and hit the floor.

He thought he would enjoy causing her pain, that it was what she deserved after everything she did to him, and to Gwen and Merlin. Instead of satisfaction he only felt ashamed. She was the one who was supposed to feel ashamed, not him. He supposed he really had changed from the arrogant prince without an ounce of compassion that he had once been.

“Arthur…we need to talk.” Merlin said cautiously, “How much do you remember…from before?”

“I told you, “He replied, looking directly into those beautiful blue eyes, “I remember everything.”

“Okay,” sighed Merlin as he sank into his spot by Arthurs bed. “Look Arthur, I know it must be confusing for you to see her here at your side. What with all the nasty betrayal business of the past, but there are things you don’t understand. Things that even back then you just couldn’t grasp.”

Arthur withdrew his hand.

“Are you saying that everything is my fault? It’s my own fault that she tried to take everything from me? Even you?!” Arthur shouted at Merlin.

“I am saying,” Merlin paused, gathering himself, “You are a good man, a great King, but there are things that you will never understand. Things that you COULD never understand. I would never wish for you to understand firsthand. What it is to be persecuted for something completely out of your control, something you were born with. Hiding from your own family, not knowing whether their affections for you will outweigh their hatred for what’s inside you. That doubt can do funny things to people. When it mattered most you were too much of dollophead to realize how much pain she was in. That pain and doubt was manipulated into hate and betrayal by your corrupt and power-hungry enemies. She was just as much a victim as you were, but you are a better man now. This is a chance, that so many don’t get, to change things, heal old wounds. You can have a family again.”

It was hard to argue the point when Merlin was all doe eyed and full of hope, and so half heartedly pushed forward.

“Merlin, how can I trust her? Everyone has choices and she made the wrong one. You were in the same situation and you never betrayed me. You couldn’t be manipulated.” He finished, knowing full well that their situations were completely different.

“Oh Arthur, if only that were true.” Merlin chuckled sadly. “I was manipulated, if possible, more ruthlessly than Morgana. I thought I was being an agent of freewill, preventing the prophecy, but the dragon, the druids, they all conspired to make me a mere pawn in fates endgame. I am the one that brought about your death. I was too stupid to trust people that had proved themselves over and over again. Instead I listened to notoriously untrustworthy people, because I thought they were like me. That mistrust planted a seed, a seed that would lead to your death, surrounded only by enemies. You see Arthur, we all had our parts to play, but we are older and wiser this time around. Have a little faith. Let old wounds heal, not only yours, but Morganas as well.”

Arthur took a deep breath, despite the pain it caused him, held it, and slowly let it go. With that breath he also let go of all the negativity of the past. He had promised to be better this time around and Morgana had been nothing but loyal in this lifetime. A new life was the perfect excuse to wipe the slate clean, have a second chance at happiness.

“You’re right” Arthur conceded finally. “Let the healing begin” he finished, with only the slightest of eye rolls.

“Splendid!” Merlin clapped, “Now get some rest. Since your memories are back, I expect the others aren’t far behind. When you are ready I’ll gather everyone, so we can discuss our plans moving forward.” He made to leave, but Arthur gripped his hand more tightly.

“Stay with me?”

Merlin smiled back at him, settling back into his chair “Yes, sire” he replied, nothing but warmth in his voice. He fell asleep broken and sore, but filled with peace, because his man, his sorcerer, his sun and stars was there. He was there, and he was going to stay. For once, Arthur felt like he was in charge of his own future and he could be anyone he chose, he could be with anyone he chose.

He awoke the next time to find himself surrounded by friends. Merlin was ever-present at his side, Gwaine was eating a pudding (he undoubtedly stole) on his other side. At the end of his bed stood Gwen and Lancelot, hand in hand, and to Arthur’s dismay, Morgana stood apprehensively by the door. He was ashamed that he had treated her badly and made her feel unwelcome in the group.

“Hey gang!” Arthur called out, smiling at them and saying sorry to Morgana with his eyes. Morgana stepped forward, returning the smile, thankfully accepting the nonverbal apology for his behavior “Hello Arthur.”

Hey man, You’re not dead. Good on you!” Gwaine chimed in.

Arthur, oh thank god!” said a very worried looking Gwen, next to a grinning Lancelot.

 “’Bout time you wake up. There is a lot to talk about.” Merlin finished for the group.

Arthur wondered if it had to do with memories of their shared past lives, or their shared present lives at ALBION. He couldn’t help but notice that the group dynamic had changed somewhat since he nearly died, though he had a sneaking suspicion it had little to do with the car crash.

“I keep hearing that phrase. So just cut to the chase, will you? What do we need to discuss?” Arthur asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice. The group exchanged knowing looks. The silence only lasted a second but made his annoyance skyrocket. “Well?” He said raising his eyebrows and pursing his lips.

Morgana broke the silence.

“Very well then, Gwen uncovered through her cunning, that your accident” she said adding air quotes “wasn’t exactly accidental. We think Sarrum orchestrated it after finding out about your meeting with the old boys. He knew that if you garnered influence over them that his cause would lose traction.”

“Which obviously is inevitable.” Arthur interrupted.

“So the question is what to do about it. We could press charges, but we have no solid evidence against him.” She finished, pretending she hadn’t heard him.

Arthur was completely floored by the fact that even in his second chance he was the target of an (attempted) assassination. He hadn’t even made it to the meeting or had a chance to change minds yet, and he was still considered a threat. While being dead was something Arthur very much wanted to avoid being, he found encouragement in that fact. Sarrum was a rattlesnake, but, as they say, you know why a snake starts to rattle.

“No.” Arthur stated firmly, “We will treat this as if it were any old car crash. I’m going to continue with the plan. Gain evidence until we have a mountain of it and we can take him down.”

“Arthur, Honestly! Why are you trying to get yourself killed? He’s going to keep trying!” Gwen shouted, eyes wide, hair flying. Lance patted her comfortingly on the shoulder saying “Everything’s going to be okay, love. Arthur knows what he’s doing, and he’s got a whole squad to back him up. We won’t let anything happen to him.”

“And when he’s got enough evidence,” Morgana interrupted, “We will crush him like the insignificant, little cockroach that he is.” Her eyes were fire, hands balled into fists at her side, an absolute vision of righteous fury.

“In a perfectly legal, and not at all murdery way, of course?” Gwaine suggested light heartedly, snapping Morgana back to reality.

“Of course.” She smiled, rather unconvincingly, “But is it really illegal if you aren’t caught?”

Gwaine gave a great belly laugh and choked out “After all, illegal is just a sick bird” through his tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I make no promises, but fingers crossed that I'll have the next chapter in about a week. It's about to get steamy ya'll.


	7. A Speakeasy and Magical Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur is released from the hospital. Freedom leads to alcohol, which inevitably leads to boldness.

After a few more minutes Arthur made his excuses to the group. He was alone with Merlin again. “I want to tell them about our history. I know it could be disastrous, especially with Gwen and Morgana, but I think they have a right to know. You said we have a lot to talk about, but we’ve barely even scratched the surface.” He felt good to say it. His ribs still hurt like hell, but at least after confession that weight was off his chest. He would no longer be shackled by his past. “You’re right. Though I think you’ll find that it isn’t as surprising a revelation as you might expect. I’ve noticed signs in all of them that their memories are resurfacing also. As soon as you rejoined us, in fact.”

“Well, none the less, we should talk about how this affects us all.”

“Oh perfect, shall I just call them back in? Reminisce about the good old days. Siblings literally trying to kill each other, awkward love triangles, the works! Good times” Merlin sighed, “Goooooood times”

Arthur frowned and rolled his eyes. Surely if he could forgive Morgana she could find it in her heart to forgive him too. As for love triangles, it wasn’t his fault that Gwen had chosen him in their past life, and in any case,  she had chosen Lancelot in this one. Coincidentally, Arthur had chosen differently this time around too, though he hadn’t admitted it.

“Perhaps on this one occasion, you might be right.”

A big, stupid grin spread across Merlin’s face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that. What?” Merlin said sarcastically, cupping his hand around his ear.

“Shut up, Merlin” He tried to sound harsh, but Merlin’s smile was contagious. It wasn’t helping the matter. “I’ll wait a few days and let the dust settle. In the meantime, I could really use a drink. When can I leave?” Arthur said, slowly rising from the hospital bed.

Merlin chuckled lightly. “I’ll just go take care of the discharge papers and we’ll be on our way.”

“Right. Where are my clothes?” Arthur added, looking around the room.

Merlin shuffled his feet. “Well… they had to cut them off. In order to dress your wounds”

“Well I can’t very well leave here naked!”

A blush appeared on Merlin’s cheeks and swiftly spread down his neck and to the tips of his ears. Arthur could practically feel the heat coming from him.

“No. We wouldn’t want that.” He mumbled to himself, clearing his throat “I have some extra clothes in my car. They may be a bit tight, but I think they’ll fit”

“I suppose that’ll do”

It was Merlin’s turn to roll his eyes. “You’re welcome” He said as he left the room.

Merlin came back moments later with a bundle of clothes in his arms. “Alright, get dressed” Merlin said dumping the pile unceremoniously on Arthurs hospital bed. “I’ll be waiting outside”

Arthur scoffed “What? You aren’t going to help me…for old times’ sake?” he held out the clothes to Merlin “And also a little because I’m broken”.

Merlin shuffled his feet again, deciding what to do. “Oh alright” Merlin said huffily as he grabbed the bundle of clothes from Arthur, “But only because you’re broken. I’m not your servant anymore. Also, I don’t have knickers so you’ll have to go commando. Whoops.” Merlin said as he knelt in front of Arthur, holding the pants out for Arthur to step into.

“Like there’s any other way to go” Arthur replied, trying to keep his cool. Looking at Merlin kneeling in front of him, face inches away from his groin, his slender hands working the button closed.

“Pants? Check! Now for the shirt.” He held out a Lord of the Rings shirt, slightly weatherworn, and obviously a favorite. “Robe off! Arms out! Chop chop!” He snapped his fingers at Arthur.

Arthur didn’t really need to be told, they had done this a thousand times before. Though, he had to admit he was enjoying seeing this assertiveness in Merlin. He slipped the robe off, revealing his bandaged chest and toned abs. Arthur saw Merlin’s ears go red again and smiled to himself. Merlin pulled the shirt onto Arthurs outstretched arms, the material soft, it smelled like Merlin. Arthur had almost forgotten what a treat it was to have Merlin dress him, how close they were in each other’s space.

They fumbled a little bit trying to get the shirt over Arthurs head, causing Arthur to lose his balance. He fell forward into Merlin. Merlin put steadying hands on Arthurs waist, making Arthur absolutely lightheaded.

“You okay?” Merlin asked softly.

“Yes” Arthur replied, clearing his throat “just lost my balance for a second”.

“Alright well you’re all dressed” Merlin said, taking a step backward, out of their shared space, “Shall we head to the bar? I actually know a good one around here”

“Yeah. Can’t wait to be out of this place” Then, with some difficulty, due to broken bones and heavy bruising, Arthur followed Merlin to his car. When they got to it Merlin rushed ahead and opened the passenger door. Arthur got in, tried and failed to buckle up, and sat helplessly until Merlin got in the driver’s side. Merlin looked over, saying nothing, and leaned over Arthur to grab the buckle. He was so close that Arthur could smell his shampoo, feel his warmth, almost taste him. Which is exactly what Arthur wanted to do, now was the perfect opportunity. But what if Merlin didn’t want it? He would still have to sit in a car with him for four hours on the way home. Better to wait, he decided, and the moment was another almost.

It was late morning, so the traffic wasn’t bad. They arrived at a rather large, unassuming building, in less than 10 minutes. The parking lot was almost entirely empty. It didn’t look like a bar ought to, if you asked Arthur.

“Are you sure we’re in the right place? This is a bar, isn’t it?”

Merlin laughed.

“Nope. Definitely haven’t been here dozens of times before.”

“Okaaaay” Arthur answered skeptically.

“It’s called southside speakeasy” Merlin unbuckled them both, “Now lets so empty your head. I mean clear it. Obviously, it can’t get any emptier.” He finished, ducking away from Arthur’s fist.

“If my head is empty, I can’t imagine what yours is”

They both laughed as they walked toward the building.

Upon entering the building, Arthur noted that it was, in fact, a bar, and if he wasn’t much mistaken, the sporadic rainbow décor indicated it was a gay bar. Arthur couldn’t help but smile at the thought that Merlin had been here ‘dozens of times’ before. They walked up to the mostly empty bar and sat down. Immediately, a very toothy bartender descended upon them, his smile nearly blinding them.

“What can I get for you handsome fellows?” He asked, winking at them.

“I’ll have whatever IPA you have”

“And I’ll have a virgin Shirley Temple, please” Merlin added.

The bartender walked away to make the drinks “Coming right up”

Arthur looked at Merlin funny “Virgin? What’s even the point of coming to a bar?”

“Well I have to watch your drunk butt, don’t I? Also drinking and driving is a big no-no here in the year of our lord 2018.”

“You have a point on the drunk driving,” Arthur said, nodding his head, “However, you can’t let a friend drink alone. So, we’ll just have to call a cab and stay the night in Salem.”

“If that’s what you want” Merlin shook his head, laughing. He called the bartender over to change his drink.

“Sorry, but could I make that Shirley Temple alcoholic after all?”

“Sure thing, cutie”

Arthurs hands clenched into fists at his sides. Moments later they had drinks in their hands and they were sipping them steadily.

“So, what are you going to do?” Merlin asked him with a serious look in his eyes.

“Well first I’m going to down this beer and then do the same with 3 or 4 more” Arthur quipped, avoiding the implied question. He was supposed to be ‘emptying his head’, not solving his problems.

“Fair enough. I’m going to be here for my king, serving him in whatever way he needs me to”

Arthur put a hand on Merlin’s knee, looking him in the eye, he said “Please stop thinking of me as your king. That life is over I’m not a king anymore. Besides you were right in saying that you aren’t my servant anymore”

Merlin put a hand over Arthur’s on his knee.

“I may no longer be your servant, but you will always be my king, sire”

Their eyes were locked, neither one wanting to look away. They were looking into each other’s souls, not just eyes. His soul was bared to Merlin and soon he would discover Arthurs long held desire.

“More of the same?” The unwelcome bartender, the clueless to other people’s moments bartender asked.

“Yes please” answered Merlin, looking away.

Another almost.

They sat together without talking for a while, enjoying the music. Merlin’s eyes were closed, his head bobbing along to the beat. He was such a dork, such a wonderfully beautiful dork. His dork. Arthur had finished his second and third beer by now. His tummy felt warm and happy, his face felt warm, and his head was a lightly fuzzy. He definitely wouldn’t be able to walk straight. But then when did he do anything straight?

He laughed at his own joke, bringing Merlin back out of his musical trance.

“What’s funny? What did I miss?”

“I was just thinkin’ ya know, about who, I mean how. How I won’t be bale to walk straight” He chugged a fourth beer in four seconds flat, “And I thought, Ha! That’s funny because I never do anything straight” Arthur looped an arm around Merlin’s neck, “Isn’t that funny?”

“Hilarious” answered a bewildered looking Merlin “What do you call Gwen, then?”

Arthur wiggled a finger in front of Merlin’s face “You got me there. But I meant in this life, dum dum” he finished drunkenly, booping Merlin on the nose.

“Is that so?” Merlin smirked at him.

Arthur tried to motion for the bartender to bring him another, but Merlin thwarted him.

“I think you have had quite enough for tonight” Merlin said, finishing his own drink.

“Nooo. I haven’t” Arthur whined, “I’m not even drunk, you’re drunk. Don’t be stupid Merlin.”

Merlin paid their bill. “You definitely are, we’re gonna get you some food now” He said, taking Arthur by the waist again. That felt nice. He should keep his hands there forever.

“I do like food. Almost as much as I like you” Arthur giggled.

“Yeah, I like you too Arthur” Merlin assured him, shoving him into a Lyft.

 “You Merlin?” The driver asked

“Yeah. Could we make a stop?”

“Where to?”

Arthur didn’t here the answer, he was too busy paying attention to Merlin’s lips. They should definitely kiss. His lips looked so soft.

“You’re soft” Arthur mumbled to Merlin, patting him on the knee.

“Oooooh Taco Bell. I love Taco Bell. Can we get something?”

“We are, just have to wait our turn. Be patient.”

“Oh right, lines. You’re so smart.”

“Thank you. I knew you would notice eventually.”

They giggled all the way up to the ordering point.

“Welcome to Taco Bell, would you like to try one of our combos today?”

“Yes please, miss box lady, ma’am. I want a number 5 with a crunchy taco and 2 extra beany cheese riceritos please”

“…You mean a cheesy bean and rice burrito?”

“Oh yes, yes that’s the one. Thank you, box lady”

“Anything else?” She sounded very bored.

“No thank you” Merlin answered.

“I’ll have that for you at the first window”

The line felt like it wasn’t moving. He was going to starve to death, right there, in a Taco Bell drive-thru.

“Ugh…how long have we been waiting? I’m so hungry. I’m never gonna stop eating” Arthur groaned.

“We’ve literally only been waiting for 2 minutes. Just shut your eyes, time will go by more quickly that way” Merlin replied.

Of course, Merlin was right. Everyone knew time passed more quickly when you couldn’t see it. So, Arthur shut his eyes.

“Arthur!” Merlin poked Arthur in the shoulder, “Arthur, food” he said coaxing Arthurs eyes open.

“I like food” Arthur repeated groggily, taking the burrito that Merlin was offering him. He ate his food very slowly, savoring every delicious bite. They arrived at some dingy looking hotel moments after he had finished, his head feeling much clearer now that his stomach was full. Merlin headed to the front desk to get them rooms while Arthur waited by the door. When Merlin came back out he looked peeved.

“I was able to get us a room, hope you don’t mind sharing, case they only had one”

“Not like we haven’t done it before. Where to, boss?” Arthur winked at him. It had been about an hour since he finished his last drink, so he wasn’t drunk anymore, but he was still feeling bold. He grabbed Merlin’s hand as he turned to lead them to their room. Merlin looked at him, puzzled. “For balance” Arthur answered the look innocently.

“Yes, sire” Merlin smiled at him and led the way.

As soon as they got into their room Arthur pushed Merlin against the door. He hesitated for a moment, his face an inch away from Merlin’s. Then pressed a kiss to his lips, soft at first, a question. Merlin’s hands made their way into his hair, and around his waist. That was all the answer Arthur needed. He kissed Merlin more urgently. He had wanted this for so long. He pulled Merlin closer. Merlin snaked a leg between Arthurs, creating such delightful friction. Arthur dropped his head back and moans. Then Merlin’s mouth was on his again and it’s magic, it’s fireworks, it’s everything.

Arthur picked Merlin up, wrapping his legs around his waist, and carries him to the bed. His ribs are in agony, but it’s worth it. He lowered them to the bed and reclined.

“You look so hot in my clothes” Merlin whispered from on top of him, grinding all the while, driving them both wild.

“Bet you’d look even hotter out of them” Arthur replied cheekily, as he fumbled with the hem of Merlin’s shirt. Merlin’s eyes flashed, and both of their shirts disappeared.

“You’re right” Merlin stated, eyeing Arthur hungrily “Much better”

Then Merlin’s mouth was too busy, covering every inch of Arthur with kisses to talk. His teeth grazed along Arthur’s collarbone, causing another moan to escape his lips. He trailed little kisses down Arthurs abs, occasionally licking and sucking. He stopped at the button of his jeans, looking up at Arthur, asking if it was okay.

“Please Merlin” Arthur begged. He was so hard that the already tight jeans were growing quite uncomfortable.

“Haven’t heard you say the magic words before” He smirked as he sidled back upward to kiss Arthur. It was a slow, passionate kiss. He was teasing Arthur.

“As you wish” Merlin said when he finally came up for air. Merlin started unbuttoning his pants, excruciatingly slowly, Merlin kissed the exposed flesh. He pulled the pants down, freeing Arthur. Merlin kissed and nipped at the hipbones, his hands stroking Arthur’s inner thighs. Arthur felt like he was going to explode, all his nerve endings were firing like crazy. Every sensation was a miracle. Merlin took him in his mouth, his wet, hot, perfect mouth. Arthur looked down to see the sexiest vision he had ever beheld. Merlin’s lips around him, head bobbing, slowly, and deliberately. He was moaning again, louder this time. He ran his hands through Merlin’s hair, causing Merlin to moan too. The sensations were magnificent. The little sounds that Merlin made, the vibrations that it caused, it drove Arthur to the edge.  

“Oh yes! I’m gonna come!” Arthur gasped.

Merlin bobbed his head faster, sucking more ferociously. It drove Arthur closer and closer.

“Oh Merlin!” Arthur shouted. Then everything went white. His whole body was fireworks.  He came, and it was over.

 When Arthur opened his eyes, Merlin was wiping his mouth. Arthur pulled him close and kissed him softly on the mouth and then the forehead.

“That was…magical”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, for my first attempt at writing smut I don't think that went too badly. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Don't be afraid to leave my a comment or critique. Til next time!


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